Pretending to be fine
by cookiemander
Summary: When Camp Rock came out, Demi Lovato wasn't sure whether she could handle the fame. Now, she KNOWS she can't handle it. It only gets worse when she realizes she's fallen in love with her best friend, Joe Jonas. But he doesn't feel the same way.


I watched as the raindrops dripped down from the roof onto my window. I heard the phone ring, but made no move to get it. I was too tired. Too worn out to try to get the phone. It was emotionally exhausting the third time around to see the guy I love walk the red carpet with someone else. Let's backtrack.

A year ago, Camp Rock came out. It was always my dream to be famous for my singing. Now, I'm not so sure I want it. To be honest, I'm not really sure what my existence means to anybody anymore. The fame I had gotten from touring with the Jonas Brothers, with the filming of Camp Rock 2 had gotten me stretched to the core. I was too stressed to think about Joe. Joe Jonas. The stupid boy who I had fallen in love with. Too bad he didn't like me more than a sister. He even told me once.

"Hey Joe?"

"Yeah Dems?"

"Do you think we'd go good together?"

"Nah. You're too much like one of the guys."

My heart broke right then. No, sorry, it shattered into a million pieces. Of course, I had to stand in the sidelines while watching Joe date Taylor, and then go to Camilla.

But other than Joe, everything up has been piling up. My manager wants me to write new songs and set out a new album, my fans are sending hate mail because I was touring with the Jonas Brothers, and my parents left me for their fifteenth honeymoon only because I was rich now.

I felt extremely used, but I guess if they weren't here the better. They couldn't see me mope.

I heard the phone's continuous ringing as I sighed as I got up from my comfort place to go get the phone.

"Hullo."

"DEMI!"

"...Joe?"

"I KNEW YOU WOULD KNOW WHO I WAS."

Why wouldn't I. If he came to my house right now I would be able to SENSE it.

"You're my best friend bud. Of course I would know it was you."

"I KNEW IT. So I wanted to invite you to Camilla's premiere of her movie Push."

I have to admit. I froze up. When I heard that, I wanted to hurtle the phone to the wall opposite to me. Instead, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"No sorry Joe. I'm not feeling too good today."

I waited to see whether he would offer to come over and look after me.

"Oh. Okay. No worries then. Get well soon." His response was brief and ice cold.

"Joe? You know I would go if I could right?"

"Yeah sure Demi. I gotta go now. Camilla's at the door."

With that, he hung up on me. I felt the tears starting to develop as I put down the phone slowly and retreated back to my room. I sat on my bed and stared at the wall until I felt my tears push over.

After crying for who knows how long, I decided to call up my girlfriends.

"Hey Selena? You wanna come over to hang?"

"Sorry babe, I can't I'm going to Camilla's premiere tonight."

"Hey Miley, you wanna hang out?"

"Sorrry! I'm going to Cammi's premiere."

It went on like that until I ran out of friends to call.

Calling Nick or Kevin was not an option.

Resorting to no option and feeling extremely depressed, I ran over to my bathroom sink, and dug through my drawers. I finally found what I was looking for as I looked from the sharp object to my wrist. The phone rang, startling me from my reverie.

"Hello?"

"Demi darling. Have you got some new songs?"

"No Mike."

I heard an exasperated sigh and he hung up.

What was with people hanging up on me today?

Moving lethargically back to my room, I stared at the blade and it stared tauntingly back at me. Sighing, I put it away deciding that I had better things to do then end up in hell.

The next day, was the first day of filming of Camp Rock 2. I was super hyped because I would see all my friends again.

"DEMS!"

I heard Joe call for me and my heart completely stopped beating for a moment.

"Joe!" I called back, turning around slowly.

I saw Camilla Belle beside Joe, holding his hand and my heart plummeted.

I plastered on a fake smile as I held out my hand to shake for Camilla. Quickly excusing myself, I walked to my trailer.

"What's your problem?"

I whipped around to see Joe's angry chocolate brown eyes.

"Excuse me?"

He was too close for me to comprehend what to say.

"Why are you so mean to Cammi?"

"I...I...I'm not. I'm just really tired Joe."

I pushed him away from me as He refused to leave.

"Yeah Demi, you're usually not this mean to anybody." The rest of our friends piled into the trailer as i stared at everybody.

Camilla Belle had turned everybody against me. Another good reason to hate her.

"I'm not. I'm just super tired. Can you guys leave now?"

I needed them to leave as soon as they could. If they didn't I would resort to tears.

Everybody left, giving me glares as they walked out, and Joe left last.

"You know Demi, I thought you were my best friend."

My mouth opened as I felt the tears coming. He slammed my trailer door shut as I froze. Then the waterfalls started. Finally coming out from my trailer, nobody wanted to talk to me. Everybody hung around Camilla. It was like she was a shiny new toy. Joe shot me glares throughout the filming and camp.

The last day of filming came and gone as we parted our ways. I was hoping that this summer everything would patch up. But it didn't. So as I went into my limo, I didn't say bye to anybody.

"What a bitch." I heard Camilla say.

I turned around and saw Joe nodding along.

My expression must've been horrible because Joe's facial expression softened as he reached out. I backed away from him. I wasn't going to let him walk all over me again.

"No. Joe. Don't touch me. None of you touch me. All of you are mother fuckers. All of you love this new slut and all of you took her side. None of you cared for me so none of you pretend that you do okay? I've had enough. Joe I thought we were best friends too. But best friends don't let their girlfriends walk all over them and let everybody turn against them. You guys don't like what you're talking about but you guys pretend you do. I've never been more hurt in my life okay? Joe. I loved you from the moment we did This is Me in Camp Rock. But over and over again you've hurt me. I was fine being the best friend but you know what, I'm done. Ever since touring, new album, everything's just too stressful. This isn't what I asked for. And i don't need any of you to pretend to be my friends again. If it helps you all I'll just go die. Maybe if you're lucky, I'll die on the ride home!"

With that, I jumped into my limo and told my driver to drive as fast as he could out of there.

As I reached my home, I took out my phone and saw that there were fifty missed calls and thirty of them were from Joe.

Without listening to the voicemails or reading the text messages, I went to my bathroom as I took out the same taunting razor. Without hesitation, I drove it in my skin and relished the pain that I felt. I dug it deeper as I started sobbing. I lay on my bathroom floor and let all the memories of me and Joe wash over me.

My heart felt like it was wrenching apart as I felt my vision darken.

"DEMI!"

I didn't have enough energy to lift my head and look who it was. I didn't have to. I knew who it was.

"Demi please, I'm so so so sorry. I love you too baby. Please, stay with me."

I heard siren noises, but I didn't register that.

I forced my eyes to open as I stared at Joe's chocolate brown eyes.

"You..love me?"

"Yes. I always have. I just never admitted it. Please don't leave me Dems. I don't know what I'd do without you."

I smiled as I shook my head.

It was too late.

I woke up groggy and uncomfortable. A stabbing sensation made it's presence as I tried to open my eyes.

"Dems?"

I wanted to answer him, but no answer came to mind. Was I losing my mind?

As I finally got my eyes to respond, my eyes grumbled at the light that was shining on my eyes. I looked up and I saw Joe's chocolate brown eyes.

"Joe."

"Dems. I am so so sorry. I didn't mean to put Camilla over you."

"I know. You hurt me Joe. You hurt me a lot."

"I know. Let me make it up to you. Just never scare me like that again."

"I'll hold you to that."

He leaned over and softly pressed his lips to mine. Fireworks appeared behind my eyelids and I knew this was my happy ending.


End file.
